Chapter Four: Don’t Stop Believin’

“That’s right. No prompts, just put the date at the top and then start writing. There will be a few guidelines to help us. Please don’t use other students’ names in your writing. You could give them a different name, or just use pronouns like she and he. Also, please don’t write insults or mean things. This is a place for you to express your feelings, good feelings and bad feelings, just not mean things. If I have a question about something you write, I will ask you to see me in my response to you. Okay, any questions before we begin writing?”

Kip wondered how long they would have to write, but she was not about to raise her hand and ask. Not on the first day. Susan must have read her mind because she raised her hand to ask what Kip was thinking, “How long will we have to write?”

Mrs. Holiday responded, “You will have five to ten minutes to write nearly every day, I promise. Often we will get out our Serendipity Journals and write as we are transitioning from homeroom to English. If there are no other questions,” Mrs. Holiday paused as she looked around the room, “Let’s begin! We will have five minutes to write this morning. Happy journaling!” She clapped her hands together again in that same bouncy way.

Excited but a little unsure how this all would go, Kip twirled her pen and looked down at her paper. When she looked up, she saw that all her classmates had started to write. Many of them were writing feverishly. For some reason, the Journey song Don’t Stop Believin’ started going through Kip’s head. Maybe because she was trying to hold on tight to the feeling of hope surging through her. Journey was a 1980s hair band that sang big power ballads that Kip’s mom loved to belt out at the top of her lungs while doing the dishes. Her mom told her that they were called “hair bands” because the guys in the group had big hair. The 1980s sounded so weird. So weird.

Kip put her pen to the paper and cautiously started writing. But, once she got started she found that her pen could barely keep up with her thoughts.

Ch 4 Journal Entry“Wow! It looked like all of you had a lot to write. I cannot wait to read your journals! I hope to write back to each of you tonight. No promises, but I will do my best. Now, let’s put our journals away and focus on grammar for the rest of our time together this morning. I have a fun activity for us that will help me learn what you already know about the parts of speech and what I get to teach you. Can you tell that I love grammar?” Mrs. Holiday clapped with glee.

“Is there anything you don’t love?” thought Kip, with a little smile. Mrs. Holiday’s enthusiasm was rubbing off on her for sure.

After English class, Susan showed Kip to her other classes. They were more normal, teachers going over rules and expectations. The same kids goofing off in each class and the same kids paying attention. Kip was happy that Cody wasn’t in any of her other morning classes. But, then they went to lunch.


She spotted him sitting with a group of boys. He glanced over at her as she walked into the lunch room with Susan. Kip was already feeling apprehensive about lunch because for the first time ever she was getting a hot lunch. Their family qualified for free lunch because of her dad’s job situation, which is helpful to her family, but made Kip a little nervous. But, Susan did say that they have incredible pizza at Jackson Middle School, so maybe there is hope for all the food. Maybe.

Susan showed Kip where the hot lunch line was and told Kip that she would save her a seat. Susan brought cold lunch every day except for pizza day. Moving through the line, Kip selected chicken nuggets that didn’t look too bad. She liked to dunk them in honey mustard but settled for ranch when they didn’t have her favorite sauce. She breathed a sigh of relief that she made it through the lunch line and scanned the cafeteria for Susan.

Susan saw Kip and waved her over to her table. Kip eyed the route from where she stood to where Susan was sitting, checking to see if she’d have to pass by Cody. Yup.

“Oh great,” Kip thought as she threw her shoulders back to fake a confidence she didn’t feel.

As she neared the group of boys Cody was sitting with, she noticed that they all dressed alike and had similar hairstyles. Name brand athletic clothing and hair that was longer on the top and was swooped to the side. Kip wondered if they were all jerks.

She stared straight ahead when she walked by their table but she could still hear them. It seemed like Cody wanted her to hear him when he said in a pretty loud voice, “That new girl’s name is Kipalee. Can you believe that? Who ever heard of a dumb name like that? She seems like a goody-goody too.” Cody and his friends chuckled at his comment, holding their hands over their mouths so they didn’t spit food all over.

Tears welled up in Kip’s eyes as she sat down next to Susan. No way was she going to let him make her cry. She took a deep breath, smiled at Susan, and started to eat.

“I am going to be okay. I am going to be okay,” Kip ran her mantra through her head several times before she could join in on the conversation between Susan and the two girls sitting with her. She was going to be okay. Maybe.

Questions for my editors:

  1. What do you think about the idea of the Serendipity Journal? Is it something that interests you? Would you like to have a Serendipity Journal in your class?
  2. What did you learn about Kip in this chapter? Did it answer any questions you had in previous chapters?
  3. Which character are you most connecting with at this point in the story?
  4. Are there any parts of this chapter that you did not connect with or that seem out of place?
  5. Are there any parts where more detail should be added? If so, which parts and what suggestions do you have?
  6. Did you learn any new words in this chapter? If so, what were the words you learned?
  7. Always let me know if you find grammatical errors.

Please put your edits in the comments on this post. I will comment back to you and make changes to the chapter based upon your feedback. I can’t wait to learn from you!

Behind the scenes info:

I feel exactly the same way as Kip about writing. I LOVE to write, but I mostly love to write what I want to write. I really am a little stubborn like that.

I was bullied when I was in high school and can relate to how Kip must be feeling. At StopBullying.gov, they define bullying as aggressive behavior that includes an imbalance of power and repetition. In Kip’s case, there is an imbalance of power with Cody because he is well-established at school with a group of friends and she is the new kid. A pattern of name-calling and mean behavior is beginning to emerge. If it continues over the course of the next few days, this will clearly be a case of bullying.

In my case, there was a power imbalance and there was repetition. The bullying that happened to me took place over a number of years by girls who were in the grade ahead of me. One of the scariest places for me in high school was the cafeteria, especially if I was walking alone. I never knew if I was going to be “bumped” into, called names, or threatened. As we continue in the story, there will be more similarities between Kip’s story and my bullying situation. I am hopeful that she doesn’t make some of the same mistakes I did!

I use mantras like Kip does in the chapter all the time. One of my favorites is to remind myself to be grateful by saying over and over, “I am thankful for all my blessings”. What mantra might help you?

82 thoughts on “Chapter Four: Don’t Stop Believin’”

  1. I am very thankful that you let me and my classmates help you with your journal I am very curious that since you call the book The Serendipity Journal that you did write it like it was a journal and make it like it was her talking about how her day was o something like that .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Keildra,
      Thank you for your comment! I appreciate that you found the connection between the name of the book and the journaling that Kip will do throughout the book. I love the idea of learning more about both Kip and Mrs. Holiday through the journaling. I hope you do too!
      Love,
      Mrs. Apsey

      Like

  2. Written by: Kailey
    From Mrs. Rubin’s fourth grade class

    I think that the serendipity journal is awesome!
    I really want to learn more about Susan.
    I also think that you should make the
    words in the letter a little bit bigger its
    a little hard to read.I think that Cody and
    the rest of the boys like Kip and think she
    is a nice girl.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dear Kailey,
      Thank you for your feedback! I appreciate knowing that you like The Serendipity Journal! Great suggestion for making the words in Kip’s journal bigger to make them easier to read. I will have to play around with that.
      You are awesome!
      Mrs. Apsey

      Like

  3. Written by:Lauryn
    From Mrs. Rubin’s fourth grade class

    I really like this chapter because I am very curious about Kip.I am wondering if Susan and the two other girls that were sitting with her at lunch are going to mean to Kip. I also like when you put the name of the songs that run through Kipś head. Cody and the other boys act mean to Kip. It seems like Cody is a bully because of the way he acts. I think Kip is gonna have a long year. I think Cody bullies her because she is the new kid.

    Like

    1. Hello Lauryn,
      You have great insights! I agree that Cody is acting like a bully and it seems like he is picking on Kip just because she is new. I am really glad that you liked the chapter!
      Love,
      Mrs. Apsey

      Like

  4. Written by: Kendall
    From Mrs. Rubin’s fourth grade class

    What did you learn about Kip in this chapter? Did it answer any questions you had in previous chapters?
    I learned that Kip’s dad got a new job in Jackson after he lost his job in Grand Rapids,and that she is nervous to make new friends,and that she loves to write poetry and stories.No it did not answer any of my questions in the previous chapters. But I do have one question are they going to get a house sooner or later?
    Which character are you most connecting with at this point in the story?
    Kip because people made fun of my name to they called me Kandel,and I didnt like them calling me that name either,so I told them to stop and stuck up for myself that’s what Kip should do in the next chapter.
    Are there any parts of this chapter that you did not connect with or that seem out of place?
    No, there are not any parts of this chapter that I did not connect with or that seem out of place everything is just fine and perfect.

    Like

    1. Hello Kendall,
      Thank you for reading this chapter! I am so glad to hear that you stuck up for yourself and I appreciate your advice to have Kip do the same. Thank you for sharing your feedback with me!
      Love,
      Mrs. Apsey

      Like

  5. Written by: Gavin
    From Mrs. Rubin’s fourth grade class
    What did you learn about Kip in this chapter? Did it answer any questions you had in previous chapters?
    You did answer some questions i had from the second and first chapter like did she have any siblings also. I also wondered did they have a house yet.
    Which character are you most connecting with at this point in the story?
    I connect the most with susan because people bully about people who can’t kick good. I feel bad for Kip.There’s a lot of bullies in the world and they should stop.Bullies are the worst ever thing ever.
    I like the story so far. Nice job.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Gavin,
      Thank you so much for sharing your connections with The Serendipity Journal! I am so glad that you liked the chapter and I agree that bullying is one of the worst things ever!
      Love,
      Mrs. Apsey

      Like

  6. Written by: Kayse
    From Mrs. Rubin’s fourth grade class

    Which character are you most connecting with at this point in the story?

    Kip I was bullied by boys and I still am a little. I hate being bullied but I’ve told my old teacher that I was being bullied but it did not help.People say that they will stop bullying but they do not stop it.And I would not tell him to stop he does it again tell Mrs. Holiday that he is bullying you. And if that does not work tell your pa or ma they will help you. I did that and I’m glad I did.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Kayse,
      You gave great advice about seeking help for bullying situations! I will definitely pass those along to Kip 😉 Thank you so much for reading the chapter and giving me feedback!
      Love,
      Mrs. Apsey

      Like

  7. Written; by Nick, Misty
    From Mrs. Rubin’s fourth grade class

    Nick and Misty. We both connect with this chapter because, we
    bough have been bullied before. Nick has been punched in face before and have been slapped on the face before. Misty have been bullied before by my neighbor and slapped in the face.And been called names.For example small 9 year old. Did your bullies hurt you to?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Nick and Misty,
      Man, I am so sorry to hear about the problems you have had with bullying. You might want to check out Kayse’s comment above for great advice on how to handle bullying. You deserve to be treated well, we all do. Thank you for reading the chapter and sharing your connections.
      Love,
      Mrs. Apsey

      Like

  8. Written by:Payne & Brody
    From Mrs. Rubin’s fourth grade class

    What do you think about the idea of the Serendipity Journal? Is it something that interests you? Would you like to have a Serendipity Journal in your class?
    We think the serendipity journal is a really good idea. We don’t agree on the second question. Yes.

    What did you learn about Kip in this chapter? Did it answer any questions you had in previous chapters?

    She HATES Cody. I don´t know.

    Which character are you most connecting with at this point in the story?
    Kip and Susan.

    Are there any parts where more detail should be added? If so, which parts and what suggestions do you have?

    What is Kip writing in the journal?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Payne and Brody,
      Thank you for your comments! Were you able to see what Kip wrote in the journal? It is pretty small print but maybe you can enlarge it on your screen.
      You are appreciated!
      Mrs. Apsey

      Like

  9. Written by: Ally VanTroostenberghe
    From Mrs. Rubin’s fourth grade class

    Hi Mrs. Apsey!
    I am loving the story so far.You are amazing!
    I am wondering if you will turn Serendipity Journal into an actual book.
    I can’t wait for the next chapters!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Ally,
      First of all, you have a terrific name! Thank you so much for your nice comments and I am so glad that you are loving the story so far!! That means the world to me because I am writing it for YOU! Yes, The Serendipity Journal will become an actual book!
      You are amazing!
      Love,
      Mrs. Apsey

      Like

  10. Written by: willa
    From Mrs. Rubin’s fourth grade class
    Hello Mrs. Apsey! I love the chapters so far! I think the blog is good how it is!

    Like

  11. Written by: Raegan, Ryan, and Greysen.
    From Mrs. Rubin’s fourth grade class.

    Yes we would like to have a serendipity journal. Why does kip always says, “maybe,”? What paragraph did you put how old Mrs.holiday is, we can’t find it? We are getting a feel for how Cody might be a pretty athletic guy, we can’t wait to here more about him in the up coming chapters. We would like to hear more about Susan. We would also like to know more about Mrs. Holiday in the following chapters.

    Like

    1. Hello Raegan, Ryan, and Greysen,
      Thank you so much for reading The Serendipity Journal and giving me your feedback! I wrote details about Mrs. Holiday in Chapter 3 as she is writing the goals for The Serendipity Journal on the board. I appreciate that you are getting to know the characters and are curious about them. You guys are great!
      Love,
      Mrs. Apsey

      Like

  12. Written by: Gabby
    From Mrs. Rubin’s fourth grade class

    What do you think about the idea of the Serendipity Journal? Is it something that interests you? Would you like to have a Serendipity Journal in your class?
    I love that you named the book after the journal that Kip uses. I also love that you included every little word that Kip writes I really enjoy reading what Kip writes it is very entertaining to see that she what she writes to Mrs. Holiday it also told me a lot more about Kip. For instance she has two brothers and a sister she think her little brother Jeff is a pain so that gives me a idea that she sort of doesn’t like Jeff. She also is living with her grandpa because her house in Grand Rapids has not been sold and her dad got a job in Jackson so they had to move and now she lives in Jackson. Mrs. Apsey thank you so much for take the time to read each and every one of our writing messages you are a great balancer because you can handle writing a book and responding to us thank you so much for the hard work we really love reading when you respond thank you can’t wait until chapter 5.

    Like

    1. Gabby,
      You are a thoughtful person, and I so appreciate reading your connections to The Serendipity Journal. I love how you picked up on all the details I included in Kip’s journal entry! Thank you so much for thanking me!! It gives me such joy to read your comments and respond–it is well worth the time!
      Love,
      Mrs. Apsey

      Like

  13. Written by: Miah,Bella
    From Mrs. Rubin’s fourth grade class

    What do you think about the idea of the Serendipity Journal? Is it something that interests you? Would you like to have a Serendipity Journal in your class?
    Yes,I think it would definitely be a fun idea because I like to write but not always.And there is a lot a stories that I can write and I really like that idea.
    What did you learn about Kip in this chapter? Did it answer any questions you had in previous chapters?
    I learned that kip had hot lunch for the first time at her new school.It did answer my question which is, has Kip ever had hot lunch?

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Written by Drew and Graham
    From Mrs. Rubin’s fourth grade class

    What do you think about the idea of the Serendipity Journal? Is it something that interests you? Would you like to have a Serendipity Journal in your class?
    I think that we should have Serendipity Journals in are classroom because we have are chromebooks.
    Are there any parts of this chapter that you did not connect with or that seem out of place?
    I did not connect to this because I have been bullied in every year of school in because of selfish people .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Drew and Graham,
      Thank you for reading this chapter and sharing your feedback. I am glad you like the idea of the Serendipity Journals! I am sad to hear that you have been bullied and I encourage you to talk that over with a trusted adult. We all deserve to be treated well.
      Love,
      Mrs. Apsey

      Like

  15. Written by: Ty and Lance
    From Mrs. Rubin’s fourth grade class
    What did you learn about Kip in this chapter? Did it answer any questions you had in previous chapters?
    Which character are you most connecting with at this point in the story?
    We can connect with kip because Kip gets bullied a lot and so do me and my friend :(. We learned the word autobiographical.

    Like

    1. Hello Ty and Lance,
      Thank you for reading the chapter and sharing your feedback. I am so sorry to hear that you get bullied a lot. I encourage you to turn to a trusted adult to get help. You deserve to be treated well, we all do.

      I love to hear that you are learning new words!

      Keep reading!!
      Love,
      Mrs. Apsey

      Like

  16. Written by: Julie and Lillian
    From Mrs. Rubin’s fourth grade class

    What do you think about the idea of the Serendipity Journal? Is it something that interests you? Would you like to have a Serendipity Journal in your class?
    Julie
    I think that a Serendipity journal would be great because I’m also a stubborn writer . I like to free write more than writing assignments ,so I think that a Serendipity journal would be great for me.
    Lillian
    I would love to have a Serendipity journal in my class I really am stubborn about writing also. I only like to write exciting thing in my life, poetry, and fiction stories. I hate writing assignments and boring stuff. Serendipity journals would be the best for writing.

    Which character are you most connecting with at this point in the story?
    Julie
    I think the charter that I connect with the most is Kip, because I moved to a new school and I was bullied the first year.So I felt the same way that Kip feels through the chapters ,so that is why I think that I connect to Kip the most.
    Lillian
    I think the character I connect with the most is Susan. I also said in the last time I responded I asked for more drama in the story. That was because in the books I find interesting they9 include lots of dama such as The Guardian Herd series are my favorite books. Soon when The Serendipity Journal comes out that to.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Julie and Lillian,
      I love the specific feedback you gave me! Thank you so much, I truly use what you say to make the book better! I hope that even if your school does not start Serendipity Journals that you start writing one on your own. Writing is a great form of therapy and can help you work through your feelings. I love learning about your favorite books!
      Keep reading! You are awesome!
      Love,
      Mrs. Apsey

      Like

  17. Written by: Adam & Dylan & Isaiah
    From Mrs. Rubin’s fourth grade class

    We can all relate to Kipalee because we have all been bullied we all know being bullied and it is not fun. And can also relate to Susan because if we have seen others being bullied we have helped them then we started to be their friend. We think we know why Cody is mean we think that he bullies other people just because he has been bullied before.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Adam, Dylan and Isaiah,
      Thank you so much for your feedback! I am so sorry to hear that the reason you connect with Kip is because you have been bullied. It sounds like it was in the past so I am hopeful that it is not still happening. I am SO glad to hear that you relate to Susan because you stand up for others!! You guys are awesome!!
      Love,
      Mrs. Apsey

      Like

  18. From 4K/F and Mrs Caswell

    Wow, nearly everyone LOVES the idea of a Serendipity Journal! Chloe likes that you can write what you are feeling and nobody except your teacher will see it. Zack thought “Wow, this is really something I’d like to do.” As the idea of a Serendipity Journal got such a big ‘yes!’, I’m thinking about how we can include time for writing in one in our day. (Mrs Caswell)

    Everyone enjoyed finding our more about Kip, and many students made connections with missing their friends as they’d had to move schools. Students all agree that Cody is a bully, and some were surprised he had so many friends.

    Jett suggested you could describe the cafeteria more so that we could get a picture of what it is like, as we don’t have them at school in Australia.

    Mason made a connection with when Kip thinks of songs to help her work through hard problems as he sometimes does this to.

    Alexie said, “I LOVE THIS BOOK” and she really hopes that we actually end up having the book in our school.

    Like

    1. Hello my friends in 4K/F and my friend Mrs. Caswell,
      I love hearing that you are excited about the idea of a Serendipity Journal in your own school! Please let me know if you decide to start them. Thank you so much for sharing your connections, they make my heart so happy because I am writing this book for YOU! The Serendipity Journal will definitely be published and I hope you will have the actual book in your school too! Thank you so much for reading and commenting!
      Love,
      Mrs. Apsey

      Like

  19. Mrs. Apsey,

    Our 6th graders at Meadowview Magnet Middle School are continuing to love your book! One suggestion was to add the favorite line that she sang in her head when she was thinking of Don’t Stop Believing. Our students are also wondering why the dad no longer has a job in Grand Rapids. Students are connecting with Kip and recall a time that they were bullied, which made many of them sad for Kip. I loved this comment from Lauren:

    “I feel like me and Kip are the same person, are you stalking me? She just seems almost as awkward as me and the whole entire athletic jerk thing is true. Any boy with swooped hair and Nike clothes that plays a sport IS A JERK and for some reason, they love to target smart and pretty girls. (That are really weird.) I think its a form of them liking you, Im not sure.”

    Several students said they would like to have a journal in their class and wonder if you had one when you were growing up.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello 6th Graders at Meadowview Magnet Middle School! Thank you so much for your feedback! I appreciate your suggestion to add the song lyrics and I would really love to but there are so many copyright hoops to jump through to be able to use song lyrics in a book that I am avoiding that hassle, especially because I use so many songs in the book. Lauren, I love that you connected with Kip so much! I would just be careful to stereotype all boys with swooped hair and Nike clothes. My son matches that description a bit and he is one of the most loving and kind people I have ever met :). I would love to read your journal entries if you decide to start journaling!! You guys rock! Keep reading and giving me feedback please!! Love, Mrs. Apsey

      Liked by 1 person

  20. I feel like this story is really straight forward, Susan is friendly in the beginning and becomes her friend. Cody wasn’t nice in the beginning, and he is still not nice now. I feel like those characters only have one character trait and there is no twist in the story.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hello Violet,
      Thank you for your feedback! You are looking for more depth in the characters, and that is helpful to know. I will keep that in mind as I continue to edit. Thank you!!
      Love,
      Mrs. Apsey

      Like

  21. Nice job of continuing to use figurative language and referencing the songs.I really like the Ms honey character.She reminds me of one of my friends ; always positive and cheerful no matter what.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Lakshitha!! I appreciate your feedback. Keep that friend close, people like that are one in a million. I am guessing that YOU are pretty positive and cheerful too!!
      Love,
      Mrs. Apsey

      Like

  22. Hello Mrs. Apsey,
    I like the book so far! I was wondering If in the first paragraph where its says “You could give them a different name, or just use pronouns.” if you might want to give some examples of pronouns in the sentence and say “…or just use pronouns like him or her” because some readers might not know what a pronoun is, but that’s just my opinion. Thank you!

    Liked by 2 people

  23. Loved this chapter! I found a error, I think. ‘Is there anything you don’t love?’ Thought Kip. I think the ‘thought’ should be lowercase.
    I can definitely relate to Kip here! I’d like to see her stand up to Cody sometime.
    Great job!

    Liked by 2 people

  24. Dear Mrs. Apsey,
    This is Chloe from Grand Rapids. I have some suggestions. At the end of paragraph 8 (not including what Kip wrote), I think the sentence should be: But then, they went to lunch. Instead of: But, then they went to lunch. Also in paragraph 9, it says: Their family qualified for free lunch because of her dad’s job situation, which is helpful to her family… I think the sentence should be: Their family qualified for free lunch because of her dad’s job situation, which was helpful for her family. Lastly, in paragraph 9 it says: …so maybe there is hope for all the food. Maybe. I think it should be: …so maybe there was hope for all the food. Maybe. I can’t wait to read Chapter 5!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hello Chloe,
      Thank you for the feedback! I agree that when I am writing in third person about Kip I need to make sure I stick with past tense. When Kip is talking or thinking, I use first person (of course) and present tense. I will take a look at your feedback when I edit this chapter!
      Thank you again!
      Love,
      Mrs Apsey

      Like

  25. I really connected with the idea of the Serendipity Journal because I did a similar project when I was in 3rd grade. Everyone in our class would write in a journal, and my teacher would respond to us every week. It really helped me connect with my teacher, and it reminded me of the way Kip is connecting with Mrs. Holiday. I can’t wait to read more!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hello Nora,
      Thank you so much for sharing this connection. That is valuable insight! Thank you also for reading and giving me feedback. I can tell that you are a terrific reader and writer!
      Love,
      Mrs. Apsey

      Like

  26. Dear Mrs Apsey, in this chapter I really connected with Kip with herself getting used to the school and her being teased by Cody. This chapter also answered my question of why she moved to Jackson, I can’t wait to read the next chapter!

    Liked by 2 people

  27. Dear Mrs. Apsey,
    I learned a lot about kip in this chapter. I noticed she was very meticulous. I noticed this when she was checking to see if she had to walk pass Cody to get to Susan. Another thing I learned about Kip was that she is humble. I saw this in her letter to Mrs. Holiday when she was talking about the stuff she was going through, and apoligized if Mrs. Holiday thought Kip was feeling sorry about herself. And as always, keep up and I can’t wait to read chapter 5!
    -Ev

    Liked by 2 people

  28. In the third paragraph from the bottom, in the first sentence. It might sound better if you remove the “she” so it is like this: “She stared straight ahead when she walked by their table but could still hear them.”

    Liked by 1 person

  29. I like the idea of her having a main bully that a bunch of people follow and work with, I also think that Cody and Kip should become friends by the end of the story.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Wow! Your book keeps getting better and better as I read it. I felt a connection when she started writing in the journal, about the move. I had to move to London for a year and I really understood her!Keep up the good work.
    -Natalie

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Natalie,
      I would love to hear what it was like to live in London for a year! Thank you for sharing that connection! Thank you also for the compliments–they mean the world.
      Love,
      Mrs. Apsey

      Like

  31. Dear Mrs Apsey,
    In the first sentence In the third paragraph in the letter portion I think you should change the first “and” to “along” so it makes reading it more clear instead of using “and” again.Hope you have a great day.

    Liked by 1 person

  32. 3. Which character are you most connecting with at this point in the story?

    Kip, because I can relate to having to move from one place to another. In this case, my family also moved for work.

    Liked by 1 person

  33. Dear Mrs. Apsey,

    I made a connection with Kipalee When I first moved to Grand Rapids, I needed a friend, because I didn’t know anyone from my new school. In Third Grade, My class also had something where we had to write to our teacher, and she wrote back. I can’t wait to read chapter 5!
    -Tyler

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow Tyler, you have lots of connections to Chapter Four! Thank you for reading and sharing your feedback. Can’t wait to hear what you think of the rest of the book! Have a wonderful holiday break!
      Love,
      Mrs. Apsey

      Like

  34. Dear Mrs Apsey,

    I relate to Kip in the fact that I only like the way I like to write, except when, you know, when I’m not allowed to. I really like the story so far and can’t wait to read chapter five.

    Liked by 1 person

  35. I can connect a lot!!!!! She is so innocent “She was going to be okay. Maybe.” I love how you add “maybe.” I thought she would be SO tough. She is sweet.

    Can’t wait to read chapter 5!!!!!
    Johanna M.

    Liked by 1 person

  36. There are 2 parts to this story, 1 is about the chapter title and the other one about the actual chapter.

    1st comment
    Scrolling down finding the next chapter,reading the name Chapter Four: Don’t Stop Believin’. I got sooo interested that I was soooo amazed by just reading the title. it was time to put laptops away and I did not just be reading the tittle.

    2nd comment
    I kind of relate to Kip ,well my personality. I love to wright whenever I have freetime i like to write i could share you some of it if yould like to

    Julie

    Liked by 1 person

  37. Even though for the characters in the story the new challenges are not fun, but I like that you added Cody in as being a character because it adds another part to the story and more people might be able to connect with Kipalee because is being bullied and other kids might have had or are having the same experience. I can’t wait to read what happens next!

    Liked by 1 person

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