Dear Student Editors,
I LOVE the feedback and ideas you shared about Kip’s journal response to Mrs. Holiday. I used many of your ideas when I edited the response this weekend. This week, I want to introduce a new character to you. Here is another portion of Chapter Five:
“Usually I ride Bess on Saturday mornings, but this weekend we have to head out of town to go to my cousin’s birthday party. Want to come with me to the barn next weekend?” Susan responded.
“That would be cool,” Kip tried not to sound overly enthusiastic. She was masking the excitement she felt about not only meeting Bess but also in strengthening her budding friendship with Susan.
“It’s a plan then!” Susan didn’t hide her enthusiasm at all in her response. As Kip agreed with Susan, she saw a worried look wash over her new friend’s face and she turned to see what Susan was looking at. She saw a girl named Britt give Susan a little wave. Susan had mentioned Britt to Kip at lunch yesterday, telling Kip that they used to be best friends but that they had a fight over the summer.
Britt was tall and had beautiful long blond hair. She was really pretty in an athletic-looking way and she had a spray of cute brown freckles across the bridge of her nose. She wore the typical leggings and sweatshirts that other girls at the school wore. But, Kip noticed that her sweatshirts seemed to be a little shorter than the other girls’ were. Kip’s mom would never let her leave the house in leggings unless her bum was completely covered. Britt’s mom didn’t appear as strict about that rule.
“Hmm…,” thought Kip. “I wonder what that is all about. Maybe Susan and Britt and I could all be friends. Maybe.” Kip tried to reassure herself. She wasn’t sure at all that Britt would be up for that. She breathed deeply and sang a few lyrics from Aretha’s “I Say a Little Prayer” to herself. Prayer never hurts.
I am excited to hear what you think about Britt.
- What do you infer about Britt and her relationship with Susan based on this portion of the chapter?
- What do you wonder about as you think about Britt’s role in the story? What do you think will happen?
- Do I provide enough detail about Britt? What questions do you have about her?
Thank you SO much for your feedback and for sharing your ideas and questions. Your insight is so valuable for me!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
A cheer went up as I read the title for this week’s reading! All of the 4K/F students were excited about meeting a new character. Most students inferred that Susan and Britt used to be best friends, but that weren’t anymore and this upset Susan. Many students wondered what the fight was about, and how much damage had been done to their relationship. They hoped that Kip might help repair the friendship, and that all three girls could get along. However, some students are worried about how Britt will react to Kip, and that she might try to come between Kip and Susan, as they don’t really know that much about her. Everyone thought you described Britt’s appearance clearly, but they wondered what her personality was like and what type of person she was. They are all very curious to find out more details.
4K/F and Mrs Caswell
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Hello Students of 4K/F!
I LOVE hearing that you cheered about a new character being introduced!! That makes my heart so happy!! I agree with your concerns, and I am hopeful that they can all figure out how to be friends too. I appreciate your suggestion to add more details about Britt’s personality, great advice. I don’t think I elaborated enough on that yet.
Keep reading my friends! You are terrific editors!!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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By: Lauryn
From:Mrs.Rubin 4th grade class
3. Do I provide enough detail about Britt? What questions do you have about her?
Yes,I think you provide enough detail about Britt. It seems like Britt is still nice to Susan even though they had a fight over the summer. I am wondering if Britt just seems nice around people but she really isn’t that nice. So,is Britt actually nice?
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Hi Lauryn,
You are an insightful reader! We will find out in upcoming chapters whether Britt is nice or if she does some mean things to Kip and/or Susan. Stay tuned!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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by:Kayse.From Mrs.Rubin´s 4th grade class.
Have you ever had a big fight with some of your friends? I do not think I have. And HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!
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Hello Kayse! I am so glad to hear that you have never gotten into a big fight with friends! Great news!! Happy Thanksgiving to YOU!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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By Misty & Kailey from Mrs.Rubin’s 4th grade class
I think you should add a little more information about Britt. For example make her say something to Susan for an apology. Or have her see Susan and have Britt be jealous of Susan because she found a new best friend. [ Kip]
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Hello Misty and Kailey,
You are going to get your wish!! There will be lots more about Britt in upcoming chapters. I so appreciate your feedback as I edit and write those chapters!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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By:Kendall Tenyer from Mrs. Rubin’s 4th grade class.
I infer that Britt and Susan were really good friends then they had a fight about a horse or one of them having a new friend I hope they become friends again.
I think that Britt is going to be sorry for being in a fight with Susan and is going to ask Susan to be her friend again.That would be very nice if Britt did ask Susan to be her friend again because I would think Susan would say YES.
No you do not have enough details about Britt she just got in a fight with Susan that is all you said about Britt I think you should say that they become BFF s again in the next chapter.
I do have some questions though,Is Susan going to ask Britt to be her Friend or is Britt going to ask Susan to be her friend? Is Kip going to become Britt´s friend to if Britt and Susan become friends again?
THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME EDIT THIS CHAPTER.
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Hi Kendall,
I love your questions–that is what good readers do, they ask questions all the time. I think all your questions will be answered in the upcoming chapters.
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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By:Bella & Miah
Mrs.Rubin’s class
What do you infer about Britt and her relationship with Susan based on this portion of the chapter?
Bella:
I can infer that that Britt and Susan had a fight and Susan is mad at Britt because in the text it says “It’s a plan then!Susan didn’t hide her enthusiasm at all in her response. As Kip agreed with Susan, she saw a worried look wash over her new friend’s face and she turned to see what Susan was looking at. She saw a girl named Britt give Susan a little wave. Susan had mentioned Britt to Kip at lunch yesterday, telling Kip that they used to be best friends but that they had a fight over the summer.”
What do you wonder about as you think about Britt’s role in the story? What do you think will happen?
Miah:
I wonder if Britt is going to become their friend but take away Kip from Susan and Susan is going to get in another fight with Britt then none of them will be friends and they will all me mad at each other.
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Hello Bella and Miah,
Great insights and questions! You are right, there will be some drama coming up between Britt, Susan and Kip. I think you will enjoy the upcoming chapters!
Thank you for your feedback!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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By : Ally V
From Mrs. Rubin’s class
What do you wonder about as you think about Britt’s role in the story? What do you think will happen?
I think that Britt will become best friends with Kip but still not like Susan and it will cause drama (they will fight over Kipalee).
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Hello Ally,
Very interesting prediction! I wonder why you think that!!
Thank you for your feedback!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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By Willa
from Mrs Rubin’ Class
I think Britt’s relationship with Susan is they are okay with each other but not exactly friends.
I believe Britt’s role will pretty much to cause some drama or maybe become friend with not only Susan but kip too!
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Hi Willa,
I think you are right, there definitely will be some drama! I think you will like the upcoming chapters!
Thank you for your feedback!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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By: Adam And Dylan
From Mrs.Rubin’s Fourth Grade Class
I don’t think you put enough detail about Britt because the chapter was too short I also want to know more about the story and I can’t wait until you make a new chapter.
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Hello Adam and Dylan,
You are right that this was a short entry. It is not a whole chapter, just part of the chapter. I will make a longer post next week. Have a very happy Thanksgiving!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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By:Gabby
From Mrs. Rubin´s fourth grade class
Dear Mrs. Apsey you are the best author ever you are really letting us do this edit your book WOW! I think that Britt will be Susan’s best friend again and Kip will be Coty´s best friend so I think because Britt and Susan are getting along they will be best friends again and Kip wont be Susan’s any more. But I hope that does not happen.I think that Britt will take Susan back so they will be best friend again. Mrs. Apsey you are the most kindest person in the world for writing these stories I read ¨The Princes of Serendip¨ and you are surly a sarandipides gift to us BEST AUTHOR EVER!
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Hi Gabby,
Well, you made me blush! I really appreciate your compliments. I am so glad that you are enjoying reading what I write–that is why I write it!! Thank you for being so sweet!! I like your predictions and I am so excited for you to read the whole book so you can tell me what you think.
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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By Graham, Nick, Ty and Hayden
From Mrs. Rubin”s class.
We wonder if Kip will ask Britt if she will play with Kip or ask her to come over to stay the night at her house .
How old is Britt or did she have to move before?
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Hi Graham, Nick, Ty and Hayden,
Thank you for your questions! You are wondering how this group of three girls might (or might not) be friends. I am so excited to hear what you think as you read more!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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By: Ryan, Raegan, and Grey
From : Mrs. Rubin’s 4th grade class
We would really like to know more about Britt because we want to know what happened with Britt and Susan. We also want to know how it all started. We want to know also how long they were friends before they started fighting.
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Hello Ryan, Raegan, and Grey,
Thank you for your feedback! I appreciate knowing that you want to know more about Susan and Britt’s friendship and what happened. I will keep that in mind as I edit chapter five!
Thank you!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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By:Payne and Brody
From: Mrs. Rubin’s 4th grade class.
1. We can infer that the relationship with Susan and Britt is going to get better, and better.
2. We wonder if Susan and Britt will be friends again.
3. Yes, you provided enough detail about Britt. We do not have any questions.
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Thank you for your feedback Payne and Brody! I am excited for you to continue to read to see if your predictions come true!!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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By Lillian and Julie from Mrs. Rubin’s 4th grade class
Hope you have a great Thanksgiving
Mrs. Apsey
Julie:I was wondering what Britt’s sweatshirt,leggings,shoes,and what color her eyes are.I also think that Britt will become friends with Kip and Susan,yet I wonder what her personality is. What was the big fight was about will Kip repair it or make there damaged friendship become worse????????
Lillian: I was curious about the time I said maybe add some drama to the story and this is where I think you should add it between Kip and Susan because Kip becomes best friends with Britt. Maybe she moved away to and now at Jackson or she is in classes with Kip and not with Susan???????????
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Hello Julie and Lillian,
You have great questions and I like your ideas to add drama!! I really appreciate learning what details you would like added. That is so helpful to me as a writer.
You both have a happy Thanksgiving too!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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We really like the book so far we have questions for you. Are you going to add any new character any time soon? Also is Kip still going to Susan’s farm to see Susan’s horse?
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Hello!
Great questions and I am so glad you like the book so far. I think all the characters have been introduced, I don’t anticipate adding any others. Yes, Kip will get a chance to ride Susan’s horse! Can’t wait to write that part!
So glad you are reading my book!
Love, Mrs. Apsey
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1. What do you infer about Britt and her relationship with Susan based on the portion of this chapter?
It seems like that while they had a fight over the summer, they seem to get along now, judging by how Britt did not act hostile toward Susan and Kip. Britt even waved to Susan. Will the friendship between Britt and Susan be repaired in future chapters?
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Hello Anna,
There will be some drama between Britt, Susan and Kip in future chapters. You are very insightful! Thank you for reading and giving feedback.
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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By: Meredith
Dear Mrs. Apsey,
I really loved this first part of the fifth chapter. But, I was wondering if you could have maybe added a bit more background on Susan and Britt’s old friendship. But otherwise, I enjoyed this entry very much.
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The last sentence sounds like you are foreshadowing that Kip will try to get all of them to be friends.
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Thank you for your insight Violet! I always appreciate your feedback!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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Hello Meredith,
Thank you for your feedback and the great suggestion!!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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I would want to get to know Britt bettter as who she is and what kind of person she is.
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Thank you for the suggestion Abby!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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Dear Mrs. Apsey, I think after reading this, I would like to know more about Britt. You describe her appearance well, but I would like to know about who she is and how she acts. Is she nice? Mean? Funny? Maybe a little bit more on her character would make the chapter more interesting.
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Hello Chloe,
I will keep your feedback in mind when I edit Chapter Five. Other students have said the same thing. Thank you so much!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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From learning a little bit about Britt and Susan’s relationship in this chapter, I would infer that Britt is kind of popular and still wants to be friendly/friends with Susan, but Susan just doesn’t really know how to act around her and she kind of just wants to move on. It’s so interesting when new things like that pop up in the new chapters, and I’m really excited to see how it turns out!
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Hello Anneke,
I really appreciate your perspective! Thank you so much for reading The Serendipity Journal and for giving me feedback!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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I think you should describe Susan’s and Britt’s old relationship a little bit more. I’m curious to know how Britt would react to Susan and Kip being friends
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Hello again Lakshitha,
I have heard this same feedback from other readers and I will keep it in mind as I edit this chapter. Thank you so much!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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Dear Ms. Apsey,
I think on the very first sentence you should describe who/what Bess is so it gives the readers a better understanding of the scene. But anyways the story is great. Keep up the great work. 🙂
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Thank you for your feedback Jacob! I will keep it in mind as I continue editing. Have a wonderful holiday break!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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I’m thinking that Kip and Britt could be rivals fighting over Susan?
And maybe we could get some background on why Susan and Britt aren’t friends?
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You and I think alike Taha! Thank you for your feedback!! Have a wonderful holiday break!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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I think it would be cool if you add a confrontation between Susan and Britt and they would both be bitter and barely pay attention to each other.
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Hello Matteo,
You like drama, eh? Thank you for the feedback!! Have a wonderful holiday break!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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I understand that Britt and Susan were best friends but then got into a fight but what were they fighting about
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Hi Rachel, Thank you for your question! I will make sure that I answer that questions when I edit the chapter or in a future chapter. Have a wonderful holiday break!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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I like the idea of an antagonist that isn’t an antagonist. Britt sounds like maybe 50% of the girls that go to my school. I really like what you’re doing with the characters and hope to see more of them.
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Thank you again Langston! Tell me more about what you mean by an antagonist that isn’t an antagonist. You have me intrigued! Have a wonderful holiday break!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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I would love to hear about why Susan and Britt aren’t friends anymore! Maybe Britt pressured Susan into doing something she didn’t want to?
I’d also like to hear what Britt’s facial expressions are. It’s described in this chapter that she waved, but nothing about whether she was smiling or not.
Britt seems like a really interesting character! I look forward to reading more.
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Julia,
Thank you for this very specific feedback! I know I will be using it as I edit this chapter. Have a wonderful holiday break!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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Hi Mrs. Apsey,
I have a couple of questions for you:
What does ‘budding’ mean in the sentence “She was masking the excitement she felt about not only meeting Bess but also in strengthening her budding friendship with Susan.”
Also, why were Susan and Britt fighting? I hope that in the end, Susan, Kip, and Britt will all be friends.
Thank you!
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Hello Tess,
Budding means blossoming or beginning. I have had a few readers curious about why Britt and Susan are fighting–I am going to add more detail when I edit the book.
Thank you!
Mrs. Apsey
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When I read about Britt, the first thing I wondered was why she and Susan got in a fight. I think it would be helpful to include a little bit more detail about Britt’s personality, so that readers could think of ways that Britt and Susan are alike and ways they are different. I can’t wait to read what happens next, I hope the three of them will be friends!
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Hello Nora,
I think your feedback is spot-on! I will add more details about Britt and Susan in upcoming chapters. Thank you so much!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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Dear Mrs. Apsey,
I infer that Britt has moved on from their fight but Susan is unsure about their friendship and dosen’t know what to do. I also wonder how Susan and Britt got into their fight and what it was about, and I think that you have provided enough detail about Britt.
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Hello Ervin,
I am going to add more details about Susan and Britt–I appreciate your insights and feedback! Love, Mrs. Apsey
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Dear Mrs. Apsey,
I infer a lot about Britt and Susan. I think Britt was nice at first and i think she still is. I believe that she made friends with other girls and they influnced her to be different. Maybe when the the girls influened Britt she started thinking she was too cool for Susan and moved on. This is just what I infer, but I can’t wait to see what you really make of her.
-Ev
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Great insight Ev!! I love your ideas and I will use them in upcoming chapters! Love, Mrs. Apsey
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Dear Mrs. Apsey,
I think that Britt will not really be a good character at first, but eventually as the story goes on, she will become better. I also think that Britt will not like Kip, but they will eventually get along later in the story. I can’t wait to read chapter 6!
-Tyler
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I agree Tyler!! Thank you for your feedback! Love, Mrs. Apsey
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I would like to know more about Britt and how her relationship with Susan is. I think that she will play a bigger role in the story and become an important character.
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Hi Alex, I will work on that in the upcoming chapters. Thank you for your feedback! Love, Mrs. Apsey
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Hey…. I wanted to tell you that me and my school friends are really liking your chapters! We are living in Monterrey Mexico. I love how it felt so real when Britt came. I imagined it all happening in her head. All in slow motion. I think that it would give it a cool twist if it all zooms up and Britt asks her a question. And Kip would be like “what?” I would consider it to be different than how the story demonstrates Kipalee’s personality. Thanks!!!! Have a good holiday break as well.
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Great advice Johanna!! Love how you are really thinking about how to hook readers into the story!
Love, Mrs. Apsey
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