His name was Cody and Kip was sure that Cody was going to try to make this a long, long year. After Cody’s throw hit her hard in the chest, Mrs. Holiday asked the students to please throw underhand so they wouldn’t “accidentally” throw the ball too hard. Kip knew that Mrs. Holiday was trying to give Cody the benefit of the doubt this first day. She was also certain that Cody was a bully and that if Mrs. Holiday was smart, she would be figuring that out soon too.
The game actually ended up working in her favor. By the time they were done, her name had been said over and over again so people were getting used to it. Mrs. Holiday made the game more fun by spontaneously adding in more balls to toss around and by timing the class to see if they could break the previous class’ record. They were all a little out of breath and giggling as they went back to their seats.
Mrs. Holiday handed out name tags that they would keep on their desks. She asked them to write the name they would like to be called, like if they had a nickname. Kip was happy to let everyone know that she preferred to be called Kip as she wrote the three letters on her nametag. Even though Kip was a boy’s name, it still elicited less teasing than Kipalee. Kip decorated her name with her different colored flair pens, a different color for each letter. She loved doodling and being a little artsy. She didn’t have much talent in the art department, but she enjoyed it all the same. She used her purple pen to draw flowers in the corners.
The day started with homeroom taught by Mrs. Holiday followed by her first hour class, English. In her new school, the homeroom teacher and her first hour teacher were the same. Kip breathed a sigh of relief that she got to stay in the same classroom for the first two classes of the day. She could tell that Mrs. Holiday was the nice-type of teacher. The kind who saw that her students were human beings and valued who they were. The kind of teacher who smiled and tried to make learning fun. Kip didn’t know exactly how she could tell that after just a half-hour with her teacher, but she could. Kip’s mom says that she has a sixth-sense about people, that she could tell what kind of person they were within minutes of meeting them.
She could also tell that she should steer clear of Cody as much as possible. He glanced her way quite a few times since he threw the ball at her, and his expression didn’t change. Cody looked like an athlete, he was wearing Nike shorts and a t-shirt and he had dark brown hair that was cut really short on the sides and was longer on the top. He kept brushing his hand through his hair to keep it over to the side. Sometimes as he did that he glared at Kip, looking at her like she was fresh meat to torture this year. Well, Cody had no idea who he was dealing with. No, she wouldn’t fight him in the alley after school, but she could ignore someone like nobody’s business. And to a bully, being ignored is worse than being beat up. She didn’t even glance his way once. Not once.
Kip’s mom loves Kelly Clarkson and one of the songs she plays all the time, Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) started running through Kip’s head. One of the benefits of being super stubborn is that she is very patient and determined.
“Cody may have met his match,” Kip thought to herself.
After the half-hour of homeroom, Mrs. Holiday gave them a couple minutes to get out their English supplies. Kip already had her notebook and pen out on her desk. She thought back to the letter that Mrs. Holiday sent her students over the summer asking them to bring a picture of something they enjoy doing. It could be a photograph or a picture from a magazine.
Kip brought a picture of herself reading her favorite book. Her mom snapped the photo when they were camping this past summer on the beaches of Lake Michigan. Kip was laying on a faded yellow beach towel, wearing sunglasses but still using her free hand to shade her eyes from the bright sun, and she was wearing her favorite hooded blue and white striped bathing suit cover-up that zipped up in the front. Her brown hair was in a ponytail on top of her head. You could see her little brother Jeff digging in the sand in the background. Kip placed her photo on top of her notebook and waited for Mrs. Holiday to begin English class.
A girl sitting next to Kip looked over at her and gave her a little smile. Kip looked down at the girl’s name tag to see that her name was Susan. Smiling back, she noticed Susan’s curly brown almost black hair and that she was really pretty in a friendly-looking way. Her eyes turned into little crescent moons when she smiled. Susan asked, “Are you new to Jackson Middle School?”
Kip nodded, “Yes, this is my first day. We just moved here this past summer because my dad got a new job. I used to live in Grand Rapids.”
“Well, welcome to Jackson. I hope you like it here, it’s okay most of the time. Pizza day is the best day of the week for sure because they have the best pizza ever in the cafeteria. My name is Susan. I like your name, it’s unique. My name is so plain. What classes do you have?” Susan responded cheerfully.
Kip showed Susan her schedule and they discovered that they have practically identical courses. Kip’s flame of hope burned just a bit brighter in her chest and the chorus of Natasha Bedingfield’s song Hope started playing in her mind. Another one of her mom’s favorites that is played on repeat. Maybe this school and this move would work out okay. Maybe.
“I could help you find the classes if you want. I went here last year so I know my way around pretty well.” Susan’s offer of help sounded wonderful to Kip.
“I would really like that. Thank you.” Kip responded quietly, but with a shy smile.
Susan smiled big, her crescent moon eyes becoming just narrow slits. Kip really liked how Susan’s face lit up when she smiled. She reassured Kip, “I am glad you are here. I could use a friend.”
Questions for my editors:
- What do you learn from this chapter? What questions does it leave you with?
- Readers are introduced to Cody in this chapter. Did you connect to Kip’s experience with Cody? Are you interested in learning more about him?
- Readers are also introduced to Susan. What are your impressions of Susan and what questions do you have about her?
- After the feedback from Chapter 1, I added more details about the characters. What details do you notice? Are they helpful to you as you make a picture of this story in your mind? Are there any details that could be omitted because they interfere with the storyline?
- What are your thoughts about the songs that Kip thinks of? Do you connect with this part of the story?
- Did you learn any new words in this chapter? If so, what were the words you learned?
- Always let me know if you find grammatical errors.
Please put your edits in the comments on this post. I will comment back to you and make changes to the chapter based upon your feedback. I can’t wait to learn from you!
Behind the scenes info:
There are bits of me and bits of my mom in this chapter.
I grew up in Grand Rapids and my mom (Kipalee) grew up in Jackson, so I have a strong connection to both of these places. My mom actually moved from Jackson to Grand Rapids after she met my dad in college.
I am a doodler. Anytime I am sitting and listening with a pen and paper in front of me, I am doodling as I take notes. I often draw flowers. Also, I love to read and I love the beach!
The songs that Kip thinks of throughout the chapters are songs that touch my heart and help me be positive and strong. I linked them here so you can listen to them. I would love to hear about connections you make to the songs.
The Serendipity Journal 
In the last chapter you’ve already had a song running through kips head by Beyoncé.😕🤨🧐
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Hi Emma,
There are new songs running through Kip’s head in each chapter, each song relates to how Kip is feeling at the time. I am interested to get your feedback on the songs. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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Awesome! You are such a good writer! The first chapter and the second chapter were amazing. I loved them both and I hope there is a third chapter. If there is a third chapter, I would love to read it. I want to find out more about Kipalee and her soon-to-be friend Susan.
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Hi Jordynn,
I am so glad you are reading the book! I really really miss you and this is a way we can stay connected! The third chapter will be posted this weekend and it introduces an important part of the story. I can’t wait to hear your feedback!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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Hi Mrs. Apsey! It’s us, the 4th graders from Tokyo. We love that Kip made a new friend in this chapter. We really liked the way you described Susan’s crescent moon eyes. We were able to connect with Cody, because there are some kids like that, but luckily not in our class. Thank you for taking our feedback for the first chapter and we think that you did a great job describing the new characters. We can really picture them in our heads. We’re predicting that Kip and Susan might become best friends and Cody will end up being a good person. We do want to see him cause some drama, though. Just a heads up, we caught a grammatical error in the first sentence of the 10th paragraph. We can’t wait to read the next chapter! Good luck in your writing. 🙂
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Hello my friends from Tokyo! I love your feedback…there will be some drama for sure, don’t worry! Could you give me a little more information about the grammatical error you found? My students at Quincy Elementary are so excited that students from Japan are giving me feedback on the book. Keep up the great work!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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The error is gone. 🙂 Thank you so much for your response!
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Hello Mrs.Apsey! This is Ally and Julie from Mrs. Rubin’s class.
1.What do you learn from this chapter? What questions does it leave you with?
We learned that Cody is a bully and Kipalee made a new friend,and that she likes the teacher too.
2. Readers are introduced to Cody in this chapter. Did you connect to Kip’s experience with Cody? Are you interested in learning more about him?
Yes we are interested in learning more about Cody because maybe he might turn out to be Kipplee’s friend because sometimes boys tease girls because they like them.
Moral:Everyone can change.
3.Readers are also introduced to Susan. What are your impressions of Susan and what questions do you have about her?
What’s her personality and where did she come from? Also what does she look like?
4.After the feedback from Chapter 1, I added more details about the characters. What details do you notice? Are they helpful to you as you make a picture of this story in your mind? Are there any details that could be omitted because they interfere with the storyline?
On paragraph 10, the is a spelling error.”A girl sitting next to Kip looked at her over at her and gave her a little smile.”.And no we didn’t notice anything that interferes with the storyline. We also think that the story so far is great !
5.What are your thoughts about the songs that Kip thinks of? Do you connect with this part of the story?
Yes we connect with Kip because we have that happen sometimes too.As an example: Maybe we are nervous and a song pops in our heads.
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Hi Ally and Julie,
I so appreciate the detailed feedback you gave me! I fixed the error in the 10th paragraph, thank you for pointing that out. Sounds like you would also like a little bit more information about Susan. I will be sure that there are more details in the upcoming chapters, but please keep an eye on it and let me know if I answer your questions.
Thank you!
Mrs. Apsey
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This is Payne and Brody from Mrs. Rubin’s fourth grade class.
1. What do you learn from this chapter? What questions does it leave you with
That Kip meets a new friend. We have no questions.
2. Readers are introduced to Cody in this chapter. Did you connect to Kip’s experience with Cody? Are you interested in learning more about him?
Yes, because we learned that Cody is kind of a little mean. Yes, we would like to learn more about Cody because, we already learned a little bit about Cody so we want to learn more.
3. Readers are also introduced to Susan. What are your impressions of Susan and what questions do you have about her?
Susan is being a really good friend because, she is telling Kip where the classes are. Will she be Kip’s friend through the whole book.
4. After the feedback from Chapter 1, I added more details about the characters. What details do you notice? Are they helpful to you as you make a picture of this story in your mind? Are there any details that could be omitted because they interfere with the storyline?
We notice that you added more characters in the chapter. Yes. No
5. What are your thoughts about the songs that Kip thinks of? Do you connect with this part of the story?
The songs are probably her favorite songs. No.
6. Did you learn any new words in this chapter? If so, what were the words you learned?
None.
We saw an error in the tenth paragraph. A girl sitting next to Kip looked at her over at her.
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Payne & Brody – I think Susan is a great friend too. Also, a good editor makes a piece of writing better and catches any errors. Good eye, boys! 🙂
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Hi Payne and Brody,
Thank you so much for your feedback! I appreciate that you took the time to answer every question. I fixed the error in the 10th paragraph that you pointed out. Good eye! I am so excited to hear what you think as the story unfolds over the next few months. You guys are awesome!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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Hello we are Willa and Dylan from Mrs. Rubin’s fourth grade.
1. What do you learn from this chapter? What questions does it leave you with?
We learned what steer means it means to guide or control the movement of.
Readers are introduced to Cody in this chapter.
2. Did you connect to Kip’s experience with Cody? Are you interested in learning more about him?
One of us has experienced being bullied so in a way we can connect to being bullied.
3. Readers are also introduced to Susan. What are your impressions of Susan and what questions do you have about her?
So far she seems like a nice person and she liked Kip/Kipalee’s name so they seem like they will be friends.
4. After the feedback from Chapter 1, I added more details about the characters. What details do you notice? Are they helpful to you as you make a picture of this story in your mind? Are there any details that could be omitted because they interfere with the storyline?
That “she noticed Susan’s curly brown almost black hair and that she was really pretty in a friendly-looking way. Her eyes turned into little crescent moons when she smiled” that shows more detail about this character.
5. What are your thoughts about the songs that Kip thinks of? Do you connect with this part of the story
We did not connect with the songs that kip thought of, but we can see why she would think of these songs at those times.
6. Did you learn any new words in this chapter? If so, what were the words you learned?
We learned what steer means.
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Willa & Dylan-I’m happy you are making personal connections to the story, but I’m sorry one of you has experienced bulling. Know I think you are both AMAZING! Keep up the great work in 4C!!
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Hello Willa and Dylan,
Thank you so much for your feedback. I am so glad you are connecting with the story, and I can’t wait to hear what you think of the upcoming chapters. Please let me know if there are any details you think I can add that would make the story more interesting to readers.
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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By Lillian and Ty from Mrs. Rubin’s fourth grade class.
1. Readers are introduced to Cody in this chapter. Did you connect to Kip’s experience with Cody? Are you interested in learning more about him?
Yes, we do want to learn about Cody he sounds interesting and mean. Cody might be a bully to Kip because he extended the syllables in her name in a rude way to Kip.
2. Readers are also introduced to Susan. What are your impressions of Susan and what questions do you have about her?
Susan wants to be Kip’s friend. According to the text, Susan said, “What classes do you have? Susan responded cheerfully.”
3. After the feedback from Chapter 1, I added more details about the characters. What details do you notice? Are they helpful to you as you make a picture of this story in your mind? Are there any details that could be omitted because they interfere with the storyline?
4. What are your thoughts about the songs that Kip thinks of? Do you connect with this part of the story?
Yes, Ty my partner thinks of song when he takes a test to help him focus. Lillian’s favorite song is Stronger too.
5. Did you learn any new words in this chapter? If so, what were the words you learned?
According to the text Susan says “A girl sitting next to Kip looked at her over at her and gave her a little smile”.
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Lillian & Ty- I totally thought it was rude too the way Cody said her name! I could hear the tone and everything in my head when I read that part!
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Hello Ty and Lillian,
I am so excited to read that you connected with the songs. I think of songs all the time too! There are some ups and downs coming up in the story and I am excited to hear what you think of the plot and how the characters develop!
Thank you!
Mrs. Apsey
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By: Bella and Kayse Mrs.Rubins Class
1. What do you learn from this chapter? What questions does it leave you with?
I learned that the boy’s name is Cody and the girls is Susan. My question is:What is the “half-hour of home room”?
2. Readers are introduced to Cody in this chapter. Did you connect to Kip’s experience with Cody? Are you interested in learning more about him?
I can connect to Kip’s experience and I am interested in learning more about him to see if he will start being more nice.
3. Readers are also introduced to Susan. What are your impressions of Susan and what questions do you have about her?
My impressions of Susan are that she is very nice because in the text it says”A girl sitting next looked at her over at her and gave her a simple smile.Kip looked down at the girl’s name tag to see that her name was Susan. Smiling back” and my questions about her are:Will Susan be in the rest of the chapters?
4. After the feedback from Chapter 1, I added more details about the characters. What details do you notice? Are they helpful to you as you make a picture of this story in your mind? Are there any details that could be omitted because they interfere with the storyline?
I notice that you are very descriptive about your words about how Cody looks. For an example you say”Cody looked like an athlete, he was wearing Nike shorts and t-shirt and he had dark brown hair that was cut really short on the sides and was longer at the top. He kept putting his hand through his hair to keep it to the side.
5. Did you learn any new words in this chapter? If so, what were the words you learned?
I didn’t know the word “spontaneously” ,then I looked it up and found what it meant. Spontaneously means suddenly
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Bella & Kayse-I love how you found a work you didn’t know and looked it up! I hope to see you use “spontaneously” in your writing soon!! Great word choice 🙂
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Hello Bella and Kayse,
I am so excited to get your feedback! I love learning new words and I am impressed that you found a word you don’t know and looked it up yourself. Way to go! I also really like how you noticed the specific descriptions of the characters! I cannot wait to hear what you think of the upcoming chapters!
Thank you!
Mrs. Apsey
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By: Raegan and Greysen in Mrs. Rubin’s fourth grade class
1. What do you learn from this chapter? What questions does it leave you with?
Be kind like Susan was. What classes does Kip have, if Cody will turn out to be nice, and if Kip will lie her new school?
2. Readers are introduced to Cody in this chapter. Did you connect to Kip’s experience with Cody? Are you interested in learning more about him?
We did not connect to Kip’s experience with Cody. Although we did like how you described Cody. We also think that Cody will turn out to be a pretty nice guy and can’t wait to read more about him.
3. Readers are also introduced to Susan. What are your impressions of Susan and what questions do you have about her?
We like Susan and how her face “lights up” when she smiles. We also like how you describe her and how you give us details and how those details tell us she is a nice person.
4. After the feedback from Chapter 1, I added more details about the characters. What details do you notice? Are they helpful to you as you make a picture of this story in your mind? Are there any details that could be omitted because they interfere with the storyline?
Yes, the details were helpful. It really helped us understand more about Susan and Cody. We liked how you added how Cody kind of plays with his hair and keeps it to the side.
5. What are your thoughts about the songs that Kip thinks of? Do you connect with this part of the story?
Yes, we can connect with Kip and how our mom listens to Kelly Clarkson all the time.
6. Did you learn any new words in this chapter? If so, what were the words you learned?
“Spontaneously”
7.Always let me know if you find grammatical errors.
In paragraph 10 you accidentally wrote “A girl sitting next to Kip looked at her over at her and gave her a little smile.” We think that you should get rid of “at her.”
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Raegan & Grey – I love how you made a person connection to the music. I can see both your mother’s rocking out to Kelly Clarkson 🙂
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Hello Raegan and Grey,
Thank you so much for your careful reading and thoughtful feedback! I appreciate that your mom likes Kelly Clarkson–I do too! Thank you for sharing what you connected with and what you didn’t connect with. That information about readers is super helpful to me as I continue the story. I can’t wait to hear what you think of the upcoming chapters!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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By Kailey and Graham from Mrs. Rubin’s fourth grade class.
1. Readers are introduced to Cody in this chapter. Did you connect to Kip’s experience with Cody? Are you interested in learning more about him?
In kindergarten a boy pick me up and drop me on the ground. Yes we are interested in learning more about Cody.
2. Readers are also introduced to Susan. What are your impressions of her
My first impression of Susan is she is very very sweet and helpful.
3. What details do you notice? Are they helpful to you as you make a picture of this story in your mind? Are there any details that could be omitted because they interfere with the storyline?
That Cody was purposely wiping the ball at Kip.
4. In paragraph ten instead of putting ‘’ A girl sitting next to her looked over at her with a little smile ‘’ you accidentally put ‘’ a girl sitting next to Kip looked at her over at her with a little smile.’’
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Kailey & Graham – A good editor makes a story better. You offered a suggestion on how to fix the error you spotted. Well done.
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Hello Kailey and Graham,
Thank you so much for reading and sharing your connections! I think I fixed the error you pointed out–good eye! I am so excited to get your feedback as I post more chapters and more of the plot is revealed.
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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By Lance and Ryan from Mrs. Rubin’s fourth grade class.
1. What do you learn from this chapter? What questions does it leave you with?
We learned the name of the bully that made fun of Kip’s name.
2. Readers are introduced to Cody in this chapter. Did you connect to Kip’s experience with Cody? Are you interested in learning more about him?
Yes we where interested in learning more about Cody we want to know how Cody and Mrs. Holiday are going to play out.
3. Readers are also introduced to Susan. What are your impressions of Susan and what questions do you have about her?
We liked Susan she was a really nice ally to have. We were wondering if they actually she same classes.
4. What are your thoughts about the songs that Kip thinks of? Do you connect with this part of the story?
We think the songs that kip was thinking about in her head were outstanding and we want to hear more if you ever post anymore songs. We were wondering were those actually your mom’s favorite song’s
5. Did you learn any new words in this chapter? If so, what were the words you learned?
We didn’t now what elicited mean but now we know that it means to get something out of somebody.
If we see any grammatical error.
We saw an error in the tenth paragraph it said “A girl next Kip looked at her over at her and gave her a little smile.”
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Lance & Ryan – I had the same question about the songs having an even greater connection to the author… I wonder if they were her mothers’ favorite songs? Great thought!
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Hi Lance and Ryan
I love that you discovered what elicited means! Learning new words is so exciting. Thank you for your careful reading and for your questions about the songs. They are actually my favorite songs but I think my mom would have liked them too 🙂 You guys are awesome!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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By Drew and Isaiah from Mrs. Rubin’s fourth grade class.
What do you learn from this chapter? What questions does it leave you with?
Don’t pick on someone because if you do you could will get bullied.
2. Readers are introduced to Cody in this chapter. Did you connect to Kip’s experience with Cody? Are you interested in learning more about him?
Yes I can relate to Kip because I have been bullied in third grade to and it was basically was was happening to Kip.
3. Readers are also introduced to Susan. What are your impressions of Susan and what questions do you have about her?
I think Susan is really nice person because she did not make fun of Kip’s name and she is asking kip what classes she is in.
You made a little mistake on the 10th paragraph by saying by saying that at her over at her and gave
What inspired you to write this?
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Drew & Isaiah – I’m bummed that you can relate to the bulling! I hope you only encounter students more like Susan here at Gardens! 🙂
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Hello Drew and Isaiah,
I appreciate your feedback and your questions. I think I fixed the error you pointed out. Thank you for reading so carefully. This book is the first book I ever dreamed of writing, back when I was a teacher. I want to write an interesting and entertaining book that teaches students ways to stand up for themselves and helps them understand why people behave the way they behave. I am so excited to get more feedback from you!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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By Gabby and Adam from Mrs. Rubin’s fourth grade class.
1. What do you learn from this chapter? What questions does it leave you with?
We learned from this chapter that Cody likes to bully people. We are wondering if Susan will be her friend for the rest of middle school? We are wondering if Cody will be Kipplee’s friend at the end of the book.
2. Readers are introduced to Cody in this chapter. Did you connect to Kip’s experience with Cody? Are you interested in learning more about him?
We can connect to Kip’s experience because we have been bullied before.We are definitely interested in learning more about him because we are wondering if he will become Kip’s friend.
3. Readers are also introduced to Susan. What are your impressions of Susan and what questions do you have about her?
We really like the impression of Susan she sounds really nice and we can’t wait until chapter
4.After the feedback from Chapter 1, I added more details about the characters. What details do you notice? Are they helpful to you as you make a picture of this story in your mind? Are there any details that could be omitted because they interfere with the storyline?
We like when it says that Cody will “make this a long long year”. Yes it makes us visualize a picture that helps us imagine a picture to imagine he probably irritates Kip because he is teasing her.
5. What are your thoughts about the songs that Kip thinks of? Do you connect with this part of the story?
We didn’t know the songs that you mentioned it the story but the names sound cool.
6.Did you learn any new words in this chapter? If so, what were the words you learned?
We didn’t find any new words that we didn’t know although we did find a error in the 10th paragraph 1st sentence.
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Gabby & Adam – I was left with the same question about Cody… I wonder if he and Kip will end up being friends? We’ll have to continue reading to find out!
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Hi Gabby and Adam,
Thank you so much for your thoughtful feedback! I am really excited to hear what you think as the plot unfolds and as more information about the characters are revealed. Keep reading and keep sharing your thoughts. You are amazing!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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Misty and Nick from Mrs. Rubin’s fourth grade class.
1. What do you learn from this chapter? What questions does it leave you with?
Kip knows that Mrs.Holiday can help Kip with Cody.
2. Readers are introduced to Cody in this chapter. Did you connect to Kip’s experience with Cody? Are you interested in learning more about him?
Yes,because he might be a friend to Kip. He doesn’t know how to ask her if he can be her friend.
3. Readers are also introduced to Susan. What are your impressions of Susan and what questions do you have about her?
Is Susan going to ask Kip to be her friend?
On the 10th paragraph you had a misspell “A girl sitting next to Kip looked at her over at her and gave her a little smile.”
4. Did you learn any new words in this chapter? If so, what were the words you learned?
Spontaneously witch means a result of a sudden impulse and without premeditation
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Misty & Nick – Great responses! I’m hoping to find that “spontaneously” in your own writing soon!!!
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Hello Misty and Nick,
I am so excited to get feedback from readers like you! I am writing this book for you and want to make it a story you LOVE! Thank you so much for reading carefully and taking the time to learn new words. You are the best!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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By Gavin and Miah in Mrs. Rubin’s fourth grade class.
1. Readers are introduced to Cody in this chapter. Did you connect to Kip’s experience with Cody? Are you interested in learning more about him?
Yes,I connected with Kip’s experience because all of the little details that you put in chapter two. Like Cody glared at Kip when he was putting his fingers through his hair so it would stay off to the side.I’m definitely am interested in learning more about Cody in chapter three.
2. Readers are also introduced to Susan. What are your impressions of Susan and what questions do you have about her?
My first impressions about Susan is that she is going to be a good person to Kip and not be like Cody and bully her and make fun of kip’s name. But, you never know if she will turn her back on Kip then make fun of her. My questions are if she is a nice person or is she a bad person that is going to turn her back on Kip?
3. What are your thoughts about the songs that Kip thinks of? Do you connect with this part of the story?
My thoughts about the songs is that Kip thinks of them because she is scared or nervous.
4. Did you learn any new words in this chapter? If so, what were the words you learned?
I was confused about the word spontaneously and enlisted that is what words that I learned and didn’t know .
5. Grammatical errors
On paragraph 10 there is an error that says she looked at her over at her is the error
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Gavin & Miah – Ooooo, interesting idea about Susan. She seems so nice so far, but what if as the story goes on she ‘turns her back’ on Kip!!! I guess we’ll have to keep reading… 🙂
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Hello Gavin and Miah,
I love your thinking…you are making predictions and asking questions as you read. Way to go! I am so excited to hear what you think as the plot in the book is revealed. You are correct, there will be a little drama with Susan. Keep reading and commenting!
Thank you,
Mrs. Apsey
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By: Lauryn and Kendall in Mrs. Rubinś fourth grade class.
1. What do you learn from this chapter? What questions does it leave you with?
We learned that Cody is a bully .Kip made a new friend named Susan.T he question that it leaves me with is, if Kip and Susan are going to be best friends? Also, if Cody is bullying Kip because he wants to be her friend.
2. Readers are introduced to Cody in this chapter. Did you connect to Kip’s experience with Cody? Are you interested in learning more about him?
We have had Kipś experience when our brothers pick on us because they think itś funny,and they pick on us because they are big bullies.Yes,we are interested in learning more about Cody because,we want to know if he actually likes her.
3. Readers are also introduced to Susan. What are your impressions of Susan and what questions do you have about her?
We are impressed about Susan because,she doesn´t make fun of Kipś name.Is Susan actually saying she likes Kipś name because she is being sarcastic?
4. After the feedback from Chapter 1, I added more details about the characters. What details do you notice? Are they helpful to you as you make a picture of this story in your mind? Are there any details that could be omitted because they interfere with the storyline?
We noticed that you added Susan to the story, and you put that Cody is a bully. Yes,it is helpful because then it could make more pictures in your mind. No,because there is a new person Susan which is now Kipś new friend.
5. What are your thoughts about the songs that Kip thinks of? Do you connect with this part of the story?
Our thoughts are that the songs that run through her head are very fun to listen to,and we think theyŕe really good. No,we do not connect with the part of the story because the song isn´t part of the story because it doesn´t talk about the songs very much.
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Lauryn & Kendall – Great thoughts! I have the same questions about Cody. Is he only mean because he truly wants to be her friend and just doesn’t know how to be “friends” with her? Can’t wait to see what happens to Kip as the story goes on.
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Hello Lauryn and Kendall,
Thank you for your thoughtful feedback. I love your questions about Cody and Susan. There are plot twists in upcoming chapters and I hope you love them! You guys are careful readers and I can’t wait to see what you think of the upcoming chapters.
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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Is everything in her head or in real life?
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Hi Ava,
Thank you for your question! There are some things that happen in Kip’s head and those things are in italics. The other things happen in “real life” in the story. I am so excited that you are reading the book!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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Will kip make a friend.maybe kip Should go to Quincy
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Hi Ellie,
Thank you for your wondering! Good readers wonder about things as they read. I agree that Kip would have LOVED Quincy 🙂 I wish my mom was around so she could meet you!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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Hi Mrs.Apsey I think this chapter is amazing and I don’t think you need change anything that’s how good you did and for sure will be reading your chapter on technology at home.👌🏼😎😎😋
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Brayden,
I am so lucky to be your principal! You are so kind. Thank you for reading and thank you for the sweet feedback! I cannot wait to hear what you think of the rest of the book!!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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I like how you put links in the text. I think it’s cool and unique.The first two paragraphs reminds me about a book our class in 4th grade read- out of my mind, which is very much like your book. I like how you take your time, using your memories to create characters. Good luck!👍🏻
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Sam,
I LOVE hearing about the connections you are making to other books! Thank you for your comment about the links in the text. I would really like to talk more about writing with you! I have read some of your writing and I am so impressed already…I can’t wait to read more. Thank you for reading and sharing your feedback!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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Hi Mrs Aspey, it’s Mrs Caswell and the 4K/F students. Again, we enjoyed reading this chapter.
We learnt that school in America is very different to school in Australia! Just a couple of things we noticed: we don’t have a cafeteria, everyone brings their lunch from home or orders from the tuckshop and we all sit in undercover eating areas around the school; we don’t have a homeroom and schedules in primary school, our whole class follows the same timetable and we stay together for the day. We noticed this when Mrs Caswell read “Wonder” to us too.
Many students were able to connect with Kip’s experience with Cody, as they have been bullied or seen bullying before. We are wondering why Cody is treating Kip that way, and if he has bullied other people, as bullies tend to have more than one target. We are hoping that his behaviour changes and he realises what bullying does.
Everyone is very interested in Susan, and would love to know her backstory. We are all hoping that Susan is a nice person, and that she and Kip become friends.
There were also some specific questions, suggestions and feedback:
* Porsche suggested that in paragraph 5 you could say that Cody ‘kept brushing his hand through his hair’ instead of putting.
* Ruby is wondering if Susan is shy, because she said ‘I could use a friend’, so maybe she finds it hard to make friends.
* Sebe is not sure what it means when you described Susan’s eyes as ‘crescent moons’.
* Mase likes the way the chapter ended as he says it leaves you on the edge of your seat wanting more.
From Mrs Caswell: In regards to some finding the text a bit of a challenge, I think we are having difficulty with some students attending to the text closely enough, and with thinking more deeply about the text, rather than just superficially skimming the surface. We have been working on analysing author’s choices and meaning, and I think this exercise will help greatly with that. It will also help consolidate our understanding of character’s choices and actions.
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Hello Mrs. Caswell and students,
Thank you for sharing some of the differences you notice between schools in the US and schools in Australia. All of the students editing the book will enjoy learning about that! I appreciate the questions and the careful reading–you are great editors! Porsche, great idea to change putting to brushing! I already changed that. Ruby, the reason why Susan could use a friend will become clear in the upcoming chapters. Great question! Sebe, take a look at people’s eyes when they smile. You’ll notice that some people’s eyes change shaped. Susan’s become like crescent moons, which means her eyes curve when she smiles. Mase, I am so glad that you are excited for the next chapter! Can’t wait to hear your thoughts!
Mrs. Caswell, thank you for giving me more information about the text difficulty. I used a Lexile analyzer to see what the Lexile level of the text would be. It said that it is 800L-900L, which is approximately a fifth grade level. In the US, students in the fifth grade are ten years old. Does that help explain the difficulty? I so appreciate you sharing that with me!
Thank you for being amazing editors! I cannot wait to hear what you think of the upcoming chapters as more of the plot is revealed.
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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In the last chapter you already had a song in kips head
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Hello Makayla,
I am including at least one song in every chapter. I will be interested to hear what you think of the songs in the upcoming chapters! Thank you for reading and for giving me feedback!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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Hello this is Gwendyline from Meadowview Magnet Middle School. I noticed that in paragraph six you put ¨He was wearing Nike shorts and t-shirt.¨ If you coudn´t already tell, you put Nike shorts and t-shirt. You need to have and A for it to be grammatically correct. The correct way to say it would be to say ¨He was wearing Nike shorts and a t-shirt.¨ Please correct this.
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Hello Gwendyline,
You are a careful reader! Good spotting that error. I will be sure to fix it.
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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I love the book! For other periods you could do older songs, it would be fun to do that in math especially! I am exited for Chapter 3! I wonder if she will have other classes and meet new teachers! I want to hear more about Susan! By the end of the book I wonder if she will get a lot of friends and be happy! Love, Finley McKee
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Hello Finley,
Thank you again for your feedback! I am not sure if I am going to include other classes in the book, but I might especially because you mentioned it! I do include lunch in an upcoming chapter. I am so excited to have you reading this book Finley McKee!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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The 6th graders at Meadowview Magnet Middle School are so excited to continue to read this book! Taylor is curious to know if Susan really wants to be Kip’s friend and if Susan gets picked on too. She believes that maybe Cody won’t be that bad. We are excited to dig into more of the books!
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Hello 6th graders at Meadowview Magnet Middle School,
Thank you for your careful reading and your feedback. I love your questions, and I hope you enjoy the story that emerges as the book continues. I will be curious to hear your feedback especially about Susan and Cody!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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Hi Mrs. Apsey! It’s me Brian Donley from Quincy. (Now at Creekside.) I loved this book it’s by far the best book I’ve read. Thanks for publishing this book!😀
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Hello Brian,
I am so glad that you are reading this book! I hope middle school is going well, I miss you! I can’t wait to hear what you think of the rest of the book.
Thank you for reading!
Mrs. Apsey
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I love your book so far I am really hooked to the book I love how you put a lot of detail. I love this because I read a lot of H.P. Lovecraft and it is very detailed.He will describe a small room and use two to three pages worth of detail.I think that a lot of people look for a lot of detail in the stories they read.
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Thank you so much for your feedback Keildra! I really appreciate knowing what you like about H.P. Lovecraft’s books. I hope you continue reading The Serendipity Journal and continue to give me feedback!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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Dear Ms. Apsey,
Greetings again from Monterrey, Mexico. Here’s a few things that students have noticed and are wondering.
– Susan is a kind girl. She seems to be empathetic and was nice of her to befriend Kip. They wonder if she is able to be kind to Kip because she has been bullied before by other students in the same class? Or is she being kind and caring just because. They wonder that because when she says “I could use a friend too”? Is she going through a similar situation as Kip? Students wonder if Susan has been bullied before.
– Another comment by one student was that he thinks you should include a little fight between Susan and Kip to make it a little bit more interesting.
Hope these comments help, we are all enjoying The Serendipity Journal!
–
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Hello students from Monterrey, Mexico,
I love your questions and I think you are going to be delighted to see what happens in the book…you have great insight and asked great questions! Yes, Susan is going through a hard time and yes, there will be some conflict between Susan and Kip. I hope they will overcome it though 😉
Keep reading and giving me feedback!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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In the first sentence of the first paragraph, we noticed that it said “…Cody was going to try make this…” We are pretty sure that that is a typo, and that it should say “…Cody was going to try TO make this..”. Thank you!
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Great catch Anneke and Naomi! Thank you so much–you are excellent editors!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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Greetings from Grand Rapids!
We noticed a grammatical error in the first sentence of the chapter. You wrote: “His name was Cody and Kip was sure that Cody was going to try make this a long, long year.” We thought that it should instead say: “His name was Cody, and Kip was sure that Cody was going to try to make this a long, long year.”, adding in a comma and the word ‘to’.
Thank you, we’re excited to see how the rest of the story goes!
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Thank you Anna and Violet! You spotted a grammatical error that many others passed right by. I appreciate your keen eye!!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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Great 2nd chapter! But changes we would like to see are that the first paragraph was quite confusing. Maybe you could make it more clear.
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Hello Aiden and Matteo,
I would love to hear what specific part was confusing for you. What questions did the first paragraph leave you with?
Thank you so much for your feedback!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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We like the tension between Cody and Kip, and Susan seems very kind. We think maybe Susan is befriending Kip because of what happened with Cody? – Julia Joo
Sounds great! I really like all the description you used when describing her photo – Aaron Chrenka
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Hello Julia and Aaron,
I am so glad that you are enjoying the book!! I have learned a lot about the amount of detail students like in a book and it is helping me make it better. Thank you so much!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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In paragraph 4 there is a typo. It says an half hour instead of a half hour. Also, in paragraph 5 there is a run-on sentence describing Cody. That is all, we can’t wait to read the next chapter of the book! 😉
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Hello Meredith and Nora,
Great catch! Thank you so much!! You are great editors. I can’t wait to hear what you think of the other chapters.
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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We want to learn more about Cody, and more of the crazy and rude stuff he does.
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Hi Paige and Abby,
Thank you! I hope you like the next chapter–you will find out more about Cody and how he treats Kip. Please let me know what you think.
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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Dear Mrs. Apsey,
This is from Tess and Chloe from Northern HIlls MIddle School. We believe we found an error in the first sentence where it says: …Cody was going to try make this…where you’re missing the word ‘to’ between the words ‘try’ and ‘make’.
We believe we also found another error in the 4th paragraph where it says: ‘Kip didn’t know exactly how she could tell that after just an half-hour with her teacher, but she could. ‘ We think it would be a half-hour instead of an half-hour.
We also believe the tense is incorrect in the sentence: ‘Kip’s mom says that she has a sixth-sense about people, that she could tell what kind of person they were within minutes of meeting them.’ We believe it would make more sense to say ‘Kip’s mom SAID that she has…..’
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Hello Tess and Chloe,
You are excellent editors!! I will take a look at the first two errors you spotted. For the third, I put “says” instead of “said” to indicate that it is something that Kip’s mom says often to her, not just a one-time thing. Does that make sense?
Keep reading! I love your feedback!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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I hope that more is added to Susan’s character to make her more interesting but the character is already a great character and her enthusiasm is nice to see.
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Hi Cam and Matt,
Please let me know if you think I am adding enough description about Susan as you read the next couple chapters. I appreciate your feedback!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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Dear Mrs. Apsey,
We think that the sentence about her drawing with the purple pens in a bit out of place in paragraph 3, and that it should go before the doodling sentence.Also we believe in the first sentence after Cody there should be a comma for clarification.
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Hello Alex and Jacob,
I will take a look at that paragraph. Thank you for your feedback!! You are great editors and I hope you keep reading!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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Dear Ms. Apsey,
Greetings from Lily and Natalie.
We believe Susan and Cody should of had separate chapters, or at least their own few paragraphs. We have no basic background background. Is Susan popular? Tall? Shy? And what about Cody? We have little detail and would like more. Maybe you could also say what classes Kip has with Cody and Susan. Thank you very much for considering our opinions.
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Hello Natalie and Lily,
Thank you for your feedback! I am learning so much about the amount of detail students like in a book. I will take a look at the chapter with your suggestions in mind and consider some changes and/or additions. I will be curious to hear what you think of the third chapter.
Thank you so much!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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Dear Mrs. Aspey,
1.This story is completely inaccurate! Cafeteria pizza is the most toxic substance on the planet.
2.This is to close to real life, it is realistic fiction but, while I like it, I feel like it could have one or two weird things happen.
3.All of this is a 12 year old’s opinion making it invalid and unprofessional, and you literally are probably writing the ending to the story while I’m complaining about not having a giant monster as the antagonist.
Good luck, sincerely,
Langston and Crew.
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Well, Langston and Crew, you definitely made me smile! I do have the book mapped out and it does not contain a giant monster, but I may have to rethink that 🙂 Or, at least including a few weird things. And, maybe the pizza in the fictional Jackson Middle School is fantastic! I guess you will have to taste it yourself to find out.
Keep reading, I love invalid and unprofessional feedback from 12-year-olds. Really.
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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We can’t wait to read more, we think that there will be some sort of relationship with Cody and Kip in the future. We hope Susan and Cody will have friendships with Kip.
Northern Hills Middle School, Grand Rapids, Michiagn
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Hello Mahbuba and Natalie,
I LOVE your optimism and I can tell that you believe that people are mostly good, even when they behave badly. You think that Cody could actually be a good person. I definitely will consider that as I write more! Keep reading and giving feedback!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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Hello, this is Aidan Zipperer and Taha Ibrahim from Norhern Hills MIddle School. We noticed in the first sentence of the first paragraph, instead of using Cody the second time, you could use the pronoun he.
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Hello Aiden and Taha,
Good observation! It is important to vary the use of characters’ names with pronouns to make the story easy to read yet to understand who the pronouns are referring to. Thank you for the feedback and keep reading!!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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Dear Mrs. Apsey,
My impressions of Susan are good so far. I like that you gave a lot of detail to who Susan is. It would be nice to know a little more about Susan from Kip’s perspective. Like for example, it would be nice to know what Kip thinks of Susan more. Other than that, you are doing a fantastic job! Keep up the great work!
-Ev
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Love this feedback Ev!! Great idea! Love, Mrs. Apsey
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Dear Mrs. Apsey,
Our first impressions of Susan are pretty good considering that she seems friendly and nice. We also noticed that there is a run-on sentence in Paragraph 5 where it describe’s Cody’s appearance. Other than that, this is another great chapter!
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Hello Ervin and Tyler,
Thank you so much for your feedback! I will take a look at the fifth paragraph. Appreciate you!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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It would be AMAZING if you told us Cody’s story. But only if he will be very important to the story. If not it would be fine like that. I love how you described Susan she seems very likable. I love this chapter. Very good job describing Susan, I can imagine her. Good luck!!!!
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Great feedback Johanna! I will consider adding more about Cody, but it might come in a later chapter. Appreciate you!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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Hi!
I am really enjoying you’r chapters each day I want to keep on reading more and more, and I never stop. I wish I could have such amazing writing skils as you do.
Julie
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Hi Julie,
I think you do have amazing writing skills. The most important thing to do to cultivate your writing skills is to write more…about anything!
Love,
Mrs. Apsey
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Hello again!
I really got into this chapter
I think it would be great if you could describe the characters a little bit more maybe like a chapter or paraghraph of their story so people get a further mental image
Loved it !
-Ana Pao
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Great advice Ana! I appreciate your insights into explaining more about the characters and I will use it as I edit this chapter (and others)!
Love, Mrs. Apsey
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It would also me so amazing If Cody’s story would’ve been explained,but not in this chapter,because adding it to another chapter would make other readers keep on reading.You’re ideas are interesting and as I said before,this story should keep on going until it never ends! It would be soooooo amazing if you could share some of your tips to make such amazing paragraphs.
See you on the next chapter,
Julie
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Hi Julie,
I love that you asked for some tips! I try to keep chapters short so they are easy to read and try to contain them to just one idea. Keep reading!!
Love, Mrs. Apsey
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